Tuesday, October 31, 2006

till my arms fall off

i called my mom today to look after the kids so i could go help dear husband bring some wood inside... i waited for him to drop the logs in the woodroom and then i tossed them away from the wood trap, toward the wood pile and corded them until a new load was done being dumped in again...

then i chopped the ceadars that were mostly dry by our door and trimmed the other ones that hadnt' been trimmed in who knows how long. what a difference. i'm not an expert in edge cutting and they are far from perfect but they are a lot more of an enhencement to the look then they were. i came back in the house and my arms could fall off.

there was much more i wanted to blog about, i'm absolutely sure about that, but i can't remember what i wanted to blog about yesterday, cause i really wanted to blog yesterday but i didn't get around to it and same with the day before...

oh yeah, i remember one of them... in the parish bulletin, there was an add that said, that the church had an old electronic organ that wasn't making much noice anymore and they were gonna send it to the dump if no one came to claim it. and here i tought, noise? don't need much of that for the kids, as long as we can hear the notes, it will be fine, especialy that they won't be able to crank it loud hehe

so sunday, i called, no answer, monday all morning, no answer, i had to look in the phone book since they didnt' put the number of the janitor in the add. and there was 2 with the same name... then finaly in the afternoon, i just layed down for the nap and he called, and i made arrangement to go see it and bring it home...

beautiful solid wood organ with nice woodwork. wow... i like it, let's bring it.... if it fit? ok... let's see how quiet it is... hmmm, it's loud enough. so i hit several keys.... Do, Do, Do, D'oh!!!! all the same note, just do! so we came back home and it stayed there awaiting it's faith.

look like it's time for dodo

Chantal, tired and more tired

Thursday, October 26, 2006

our fist date take 2

i really don't remember the last time me and Andy sat at a restorent alone since owen was born. so after signing the request for the service of ABA(for autistism, asperger and non specific learning disorders) and going to the spychologist to be explained the result of the assesment, we headed to the pumphouse for a plate of onion rings, fish n chips and a greek salad... and a stout. it was not a big evening all out, but it was a lot more then we're used to. it was nice just to sit and talk. i think we should do it more often.

one thing that i can't help thinking about over and over is the recomendation that i let go of my plan to homeschool and send my kids to public school where there will be someone working with him for as long as he need. and trying to make it sound like more atractive by saying that i will have more time to myself to relax and do things for myself. they think it's better for him, i'm not convinced yet.

i don't agree with society's standard and atempt to make everybody conform to the "norm". "different" is not always a handicap, it can also be a stenght and one that most seem to miss or see as eccentricity. i don't want my kids to be treated with a cookie cutter. it break the spirit of the majority and only struggle for mediocrity. if we want to see a change in society, we must nurture that change in our kids. I don't want to send them somewhere where they are gonna be told, "who do you think you are for thinking different?, just try to fit in"

Andy told me today that David Suzuki is retirering now, at the age of 80, after much effort to conscientize the population of the need to look after our environement his whole career. and he is very disapointed because verry little has changed. i feel sad and share in his disapointment. we boast in our technological advances. but still live a 50's lifestyle with such a rigitidy, unwilling to set our confort aside for the sake of our survival. instead we dig deeper in the rabbit whole, and soon we'll lose ourself and our humanity. depressing, am i?

ah well, an other night with little sleep await me, so i better go get what's left of it

Chantal, could probably use an other date


blogger ate my post!!! :|

this shouldnt' happen, argh
why me? why???

good think i copied and saved it previously, so i'm gonna atempt to post it... again

Thursday, October 12, 2006

*Blank Look*

Totaly blank, like heh?

yeah, on top of my wierd tea, i thought i had other things I could blog about but i can't remember. *think* not, i can't remember. cause on top of my usual extreme tiredness, i feel like my brain is turning into a rock... : *blink blink*

i was trying to explain that to my mom around meal time 2 days ago, as i was so disfuctional she made most of it. i think. and i was just standing there, the kids were also just wandering the kitchen/diningroom aimlessly like 2 lost souls. So i started to chirp like a bird, flapping my arms around, darting for the playroom adjacent to the diningroom, and going in circle chirping and pluck plucking like a bird/chicken.

My mom didn't say a word. the kids looked at me curiously, started giggling and then jumped it the fun. well it had to be fun cause mommy was doing it and it looked funny. they went around trying to imitate me around the playroom giggling like crazy, they were hooked and so i could stop and step outside in the fresh air to try catching back my breath.

the next day when the interventionist was here, my mom admitted that she got worried for a bit that i was loosing my marbles. that i was flipping hehe but felt quite relieved when she saw me step aside, out of breath and still being the usual me hehe.

although i do believe that it is helpful to sanity to have some insane moments. and i feel i havn't had much time to act silly so i don't go totaly nuts. i think my imagination is a bit rusty.

I guess i miss those talks with myself but too tired to talk in general for the necessary stuff. so hmmm wait! am i saying that talking to myself is not important? *scratch head* Tina? when you talk to yourself, do you actualy listen to what you have to say and take your advices? i know i don't always, and end up telling myself i should've listened to myself. could it be that myself is mad at me for not paying attention more? and just decided to sulk? what do i do if myself don't want to talk to me anymore? *sigh*

I wonder what does it mean when we talk to ourself, or don't. I usualy only talk to myself sometime when i'm alone, but i used to have a room mate that talked to himself all the time with some quite intricate conversations that could get very animated. he entered the house one time when i was sitting in silence in the dark in the livingrooom so he didn't noticed me. and he went on for quite some time before going by and noticing me, being a little surprized he said, oh! you're here hehe! and went back to his conversation... very humoritic guy , was quite interresting to have him around and i didn't dare to interupt.

*blank look* again, yeah, i do that a lot lately :s but i'm thankful for Tina's blog, it made me realise i need to do something with myself. all that silence can't be healthy.

Chantal, me will make an effort to listent more to myself, and God

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Tea from my backyard

Warning... this is not the usual herbal tea and some might be shocked at its content!

i sometime feel the urge to do something drastic in my quest for a bit more energy. ok, a LOT MORE energy. my philosophy is, the closer to nature as possible and it should be readily available in the region too. not just some far exotic plants, fruits or what not.

so i eventualy discovered that the one single plant or "weed" we work the hardest at trying to eradicate from our green lawn is a gold mine for the health. medicinaly and nutritionwise too. altho i'd avoid the one in high trafic, the one snow have been piled on all winter and from lawn where they use pesticide and herbicides... yes. Dendelion, very valuable... some even make wine with it... i wouldn't go that far, then again, our yard is big enough that i'm sure i could gater more then enough for that hehe

now you know one ingredient in what i'm drinking right now, are you sure you want to know the rest?

ok, ok, i'll get with it... a few bunches of pine needles with the branches. it's loaded with vitamin C and other good stuff. saved Jaques Cartier and his ship crew from scurvy along with spruce and probably other conetrees. watch out for hemlock and yew, those are toxic. i yet have to gather some spruce needle and make spruce beer. i'm a bit nostalgic of the spruce beer non alcoholic soda we used to drink as kids in Montreal. some gives it quite a list of benefits

the other ingredients i added are more for flavor. i know that dendelion by itself can be bitter and cinnamon stick help a lot to make it pallatable, i never tried it in combination with pine needles before but i thought the cinnamon couldn't hurt. and also a stick of licorice root... also tonic, good taste and very much used in chinese medecine.

i guess time will tell what kind of results i'm going to pull out of it. i didn't think it was all that exciting to make a whole post out of it but since it was a special request, i tried to make an effort. and as you can see, it's not green, it's brown... probably not a whole log of vitamin C left in it as it simmered a bit too long... started boiling as i was captive by the bedtime routine with the kids.

Chantal the walking green lab (as in laboratory, not the dog breed :p)

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Too tired to blog

but i guess i'll try to anyway. seem i'm perpetualy too tired lately. and i just rememeber to blog when it's time to shut down the computer. oh wow. Nancy just came online! just what i need to make me procrastinate about getting a good night sleep again hehe.

i just dumped half a bottle of vitamin C in the garbage today. i started to feel funny about them, and took a second look at the label and there it was staring at me... sucralose... a chlorinated sugar molecule somewhat akin to pesticide :| and i've been popping them for hmmm, since Vivian had her croupe. i was also indulging Vivian and Owen to them, and my mom found that Owen was regressing lately... could that be linked together? or the fact he's been tromatised with his burn... he now feel hot meals. will wait till they've cooled down considerably or just not eat.

feel like we havn't been home very long today, left early morning for the farmer's market and kept shopping from there and came back home around 7 pm. it's the 3rd time this week for me, but making a pitstop at some friend's place helps take it a bit more relax.

I was expecting a phone call this week from doctors and still waiting, it's the weekend now so maybe next week? or maybe they decided to keep me second guessing till the psychiatrist give me her report on her evaluation of our son. seem like a far way to go but the pediatrist seemed confident that i should have some help in place by the end of the month?

i feel like i'm just blurting random thoughts, and it's probably what's happening. so i guess i'll stop now and go to bed like i should

Chantal, resisting sleep expert